You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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