North Korea, Best Korea!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
