Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize