kristin has been a bad kristin
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
