Where is the hickey?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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