I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
