Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
