Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
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Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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