therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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