I must be too annoying 4 u.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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