No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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