It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
