is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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