she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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