Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She made me pour olive oil on her.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
