I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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