Are we in a gay sports bar?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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