i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Success! We fucked roommates!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
