So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
