yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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