I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
