I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
