He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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