I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
