I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize