I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
