google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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