What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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