Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
