i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
