I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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