Apparently you make a good broom.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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