My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
His nipple licking is glorious
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