another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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