I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
