BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
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he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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