So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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