Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
