Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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