why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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