Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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