Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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