If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
