his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
