dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
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Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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