I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
