Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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