sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize