Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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