I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
