I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
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Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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