Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
