Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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