This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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