Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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