He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
