At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
That was before I lit my hair on fire
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize