Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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