just tell him i said nine months
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
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Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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