That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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