just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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