...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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