Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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