I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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