Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
