physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
