Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
