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she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We just shotgunned beers for America
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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